At Rest
by GuardianValkyrie
Summary: After the reapers are destroyed, the Normandy crew seeks to redefine themselves and locate loved ones. Most technology has gone offline, including interstellar communications. Home is far away, especially for a certain turian.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It didn't take time for the Normandy's best tech expert to salvage damanged bits of wreckage to get a transformer up and running again. most circuits had fried, and had to be replaced, but that was no problem for the quarian. The most prominent problem was that the Normandy's non-critical functions had been re-routed for emergency landing and now she had no way to get inside the med bay for antihistamines and anibiotics for her suit tears. Typically her suit was built to automatically deploy the drugs she needed to fight infection, but it had been too torn up from the partical beam attack and removed many of her functions. James had volunteered to try and strong-arm the door open to no avail. She took the opportunity to try and get some power restored to some parts of the Normandy while she waited, but her work slowed by the second as fever set in. It was becoming too uncomfortable to work and James had begun noticing her trying to wipe away at her forehead; obviously in vain with her cracked visor in the way.

"I'm working on it, Tali."

"Keelah, just break the window...I'd rather not die, thank you very much."

She wiped once more at her forehead and let out a frustrated growl. James cracked his knuckles and brought it down on the already cracked window, finishing the job that the crash landing had failed to do. Tali clumsily made her way over to the low window, James helping her through so she could reach the meds she needed. She obviously knew what she needed, and Dr. Chakwas was still down for the count. She wasn't going to be able to help her for a good while still. James watched her for a few moments before picking up some supplies for the wounded in the upper floors of the Normandy. He didn't know really what to get besides bandages, wound washes, and painkillers, but he figured it was better than nothing. Their medi-gel had definitely run dry in the middle of the war, his anyways, and he definitely wanted more of that stuff in his possession. Sheperd made sure that everyone had more than enough when going on field, but they could never have anticipated that they would actually _live_ through it.

Live through it...

James watched Tali push pills through her suit mouth and take a few more items in her arms. "I'm going to change suits."

"Lola's really gone, isn't she?"

Live through it. There's no way she could have. Joker had tried everything that he could and Garrus...poor bastard, he thought. The guy had come in covered in his own blue blood calling out for Shepard while choking all the while on his vital fluids...

"If she is alive, she'll be dead in no time. Unless a frigate happens to be passing through the near the reaper weapon, she's...Keelah, I don't want to think about it. If she's alive...if she's alive, then there's no way to reach her..."

"Might as well be darkspace." James finished, earning a surprised gasp from the quarian. "That was unnecessary."

"It's true."

"That doesn't mean you have to say it like that. Have some tact." Kaidan approached the med bay window and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms out of sheer annoyance.

"Yeah well...whatever." It was an act of hopelessness. He knew he shouldn't have said it like that, but it was how it came out. As sorry as he was about it, Kaidan was right. He didn't have to say it like that. "Sorry, Tali."

"I'd like to see you say that to Garrus and get away with it." The room fell silent at the mention of the turian. It was true. Garrus was a turian soldier through-and-through, and if he heard James mention anything about finding his Shepard dead...well...it wouldn't have ended well.

"Vakarian's getting some rest. After all the bleeding he's done, he's in no condition to move around. I'm not afraid of a wounded turian."

"You should be..." Tali muttered under her breath, fixing the medicine bottles in her arms. James was upset, but that didn't mean he had to take it out on their commander. _Ex_-commander. She started making her way out, her mind starting to haze as the fever took a stronger grip on her. She needed to change into her spare suit and rest but her mind, as much as she wanted to find Shepard's body, was focused on Rannoch. Her hand briefly laid on Kaidan's arm as she passed him, earning a nod. What happened to the volunteered quarians who had the geth jump start their immune systems? Could their software be salvaged? If not, was it a good enough advantage to get them started on their homeworld? Were they able to farm and eat that food or would they still be on imported foods? So many questions, but no way to contact home. It was the worst feeling a highly social species like the quarians could feel- severed.

* * *

Garrus had managed to get his omni-tool to start working. The power blast had scrambled it almost to bits, but he had done it. His armor, for the first time that anyone could remember, had been removed only due to the fact that it had to be. It had been reduced to shards and slivers with the blast and honestly, now that the world was no longer in danger, he needed to feel the sort of weight that his armor gave him relieved from his shoulders. No longer was the world resting on his shoulders, or Tali's, or Shepards. Tali had done exceedingly well beside him during the final hours on Earth. Shepard wanted a team that she was familiar with since the beginning. She could have brought anyone else, but she was hellbent on bringing the two of them. They hadn't left her behind, they trusted her through hell and suicide and back. The reapers, the collectors, the Leviathans...she could have relied on anyone she wanted. But she chose them. It had to do with the elevator talks, he was sure. Definitely. He let out a ragged breath, wiping the blue blood at the corner of his mouth, and tried fiddling around with his omni-tool more. He didn't know why, in truth, Shepard brought him along or Tali, for that matter. There had to be a reason. Why would she have brought him along if he wasn't allowed to follow her into that beacon? Worse yet, why would he bring Tali, a newly administered admiral, respected among her people, important to geth work, young...too damn young, mentally, for his liking to be involved with such a war. Then again, there was no such thing as being too young for a war that would involve the enslavement of every sapient race...

Another sigh. He was through with thinking. He wished he had less time to think; more action. He needed it. He needed his mind to be somewhere else and not-

"_No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will."_

_"Shepard I...love you, too..."_

_"GO!" _

An all too familiar voice played from his omni-tool. His blood ran cold and he stared at it for a few moments, his heart thundering in his chest. The audio-recording from their last mission together. Her voice resonated amidst the gunfire. His hand raised to his chest in remembrance of the blast that burnt a hole straight through his armor and melted his skin. Although her voice chilled him, he had to hear it again. His

"_No matter what happens here, you know I love you. I always will."_

_"Shepard I...love you, too..."_

_"GO!" _

Both his hands covered his face. He should have gone with her. She wouldn't be missing then. MIA, KIA, it didn't matter...he could have been either of those with her instead of left stranded on whatever planet they were on now, completely dissasociated with the rest of the galaxy, unable to call even his own home, not knowing whether or not _anyone_ he loved was still alive-

"I miss her too." A hand rested on his shoulder, his face pulling back in a wince. No one could have a softer touch than an asari, for many obvious reasons, and Garrus couldn't be upset about it. He took Liara's hand in his own, frowning as much as a turian could frown, and shook his hand. "You don't understand, Liara...I was right there...I let her slip through my fingers...would you have done the same?" The asari's head turned away, unable to answer him. "Shepard can be...very persuasive."

"But she wasn't your girlfriend. You didn't let go of your love."

"Garrus...I'm so sorry. We can always try and find her body. That could be some sort of consolation."

"What, like a consolation prize? Congradulations, Garrus Vakarian, for your efforts in almost saving the universe, your consolation prize is a dead girlfriend! Now, does that sound fair to you? I think it's-"

"Enough, Garrus." Liara sounded every syllable, anger growing in her voice. "I get it, you feel like a complete wreck, but going about it the way you are won't change the fact that you couldn't do anything in the shape you were in. The shape you _are_ in. She saw that, Garrus, and as much as she wanted you to be there, you would have died if Dr. Chakwas didn't give you emergency first aid, do you understand? Thinking the way you are only insults Shepard's decision to save your life."

"Shepard..." He sighed, "_Mae..._made the right decision..." He concluded, Liara giving him a nod. "Yes. She did."

Garrus wasn't a fan of his pity party, but he wanted her. He wanted his love. He wanted Mae Shepard, alliance commander. He wanted her touch, her taste, her scent...

He wanted her, damn it!

* * *

Joker watched everyone trying to piece themselves together. It didn't take long for him to become bitter. Everyone was mourning the loss of their loved ones, yet no one realized yet that EDI was offline. Her software was stored in the ship, but would she still be her? Her husk sat in her usual co-pilot chair beside him, but was nothing but that-a husk. "Just wait, EDI. I'll get you back, you hear me? I know you backed yourself up somewhere deep in the systems...you can't just die on me, you hear me, EDI? I know you're still there." Joker fought back the tears threatening to spill out of his eyes as he worked on some of the backup systems. There was always a hope to restore her. So long as the ship could come back online, he could restore her, right? EDI controlled a majority of the ship. It was too easy to give up on her. Way too easy to give up on an automaton. She wasn't just a thing to be discarded. Not a chance in hell.

And just like that, the engines roared to life. Engineering had done their job. Normandy was back online. A unanimous cheer echoed throughout the ship. Now the next part was to go down into EDI's AI core and hopefully turn that back on. Joker's eyes flickered over to EDI's body and then back to his left, seeing a blue light flickering and spiraling softly where EDI's glyph hologram used to be. She was there. He just knew it.

* * *

**AN: I've been toying with this idea for a few months now. This won't be a very long story, just a progress update I guess. The ending of Mass Effect itself left a lot unanswered and I've been dissatisfied about it. At least I can wrap it up like this for myself.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Once the power systems had come online, it was only a matter of minutes before they had become airborne. Faster than light systems had come online with the help of engineering and Joker was able to pull out of orbit to at least get a sense of reality back within him. EDI's system remained offline. He couldn't power her back up. He didn't know how to power her back up. His heart wrenched as he manually had to activate the power overdrive to pull them away from the planet, whichever one it was, and make a few calculations towards how to get to the closest alliance base as soon as possible. "This is Normandy to...anyone, really...is anyone there?" Joker tried the newly operational communications system that they had managed to bring back online. Though working from land-to-land transmission, he wasn't sure about the interstellar transmission in itself. "Normandy to-"  
"Joker? It's Wrex. Where the hell are ya?"  
"I don't know, close by if we can keep up communications." There was silence followed by a heavy sigh on Wrex's end. "Shepard did it."  
"Yeah. She did. Killed all synthetics."  
"HA! Good."  
"No, not good. EDI won't come online." Joker shot back, his whole face pulling back in a scowl. Wrex couldn't see, it didn't matter. But the krogan wasn't stupid. He knew what anger sounded like. "I don't care about one AI."  
"Wrex, this is Liara, how are things there?"  
"Finally, some competence. Good to hear you, Liara. How you holding up?"  
"Not so good. Too many wounded here. We lost Shepad, we don't know where to go..."  
The krogan let out a hearty chuckle and his voice boomed now, filled with vigor. As did krogan voices when they got too excited about something. "We'll find her! I've got a few ships up and about in the area-"  
"What area? Our nav points are still offline."  
"You're on Demeter." The two exchanged glanced before a grin spread out on their faces. "Earth is easily within FTL range." Joker spoke eagerly, earning a grunt back from Wrex. "Meaning that the Cruicible is within space reach."  
"So it's settled. We've already spent too much time trying to get airborne again. If Shepard has any chance to survive, now would be that time." Liara took a firm grip on Joker's forearm, as if trying to pressure him into maneuvering the ship. "Some of my men need medical help. We'll send a few shuttles back down to earth. We can use the ships to search for Shepard. Bakara wouldn't let me hear the end of it if we didn't even try to look for her."  
"Understood. Keep in radio contact, Wrex."  
"Liara, I could listen to you aaaaall day."  
"You're so sweet, Wrex. Liara out." She pulled away from the monitor and looked down at Joker, her hand still wrapped around his forearm. "I'll get Glyph working again and see if he can revive EDI. Just please, Joker...try and find her."  
"Will do, Liara. You'll need to let go of my arm first. I think you're about to splinter it." A smile crossed her face as she did so, feeling the ship veering off to one side. "Thank you, Joker."  
"No, Liara...thank you." He wasn't sure if anyone would have been able to retrieve EDI from within the ship's software system. However, if Liara, the shadow broker, of all people, could manage to do so, it'd be her. Now with his mind at ease, he could focus on another matter.

Garrus hefted his armor on and quickly regretted it. His wounds had not yet healed after two days, and Dr Chakwas had scolded him for not resting more because of it. He couldn't. They had two shuttles that could be sent out to explore the remains of the crucible and he wanted to make sure that he was on one.  
"I'm going with you, Garrus." Tali had approached the man and placed a hand on her hip. "I owe it to her."  
"You and I both."  
Tali shook her head, "she'll scold us, you know." Garrus placed his visor over his eye and immediately began getting readings from it. At least that hadn't fried with everything else. "My scanner is telling me that you're still under quite a bit of stress from your suit tears..."  
"And I can tell you that you're in no shape to move with my own two eyes," she shot back, gesturing to her eyes with two fingers. "I don't need a scanner to tell me that."  
"Icy." He gave a laugh and rubbed his hands together, looking over at the shuttle where Cortez used to work. "We're missing a lot of good people..."  
"That's the casualty of war. On top of the reapers, soldier casualties, innocent bystanders, all AI and technology fried, and the genocide of an entire race, I'd say yes. We're missing a lot of good people." Tali was known for having long-winded discussions and proving to be masterful at the art of speech, but this really topped it all off. She was blunt with Garrus. She knew she could be. The seasoned turian rathered it no other way. It was honestly Shepard who was good as glazing things over to ensure that they appealed to the public.  
"At least we can go find the one person to make things easier. The alliance are going to be recalling the Normandy and I plan to use this ship until that signal is sent out." Garrus checked over his ammunition and looked back over at Tali. "Better sooner than later. I doubt land-to-ship contact can be established until the comm buoys are re-established. We're just too far away."  
"Good for us. Liara said she'll stay on board to keep contact with us. Kaidan and James are going to be in a separate shuttle to cover more ground. We don't know the exact location of where Shepard initiated the final phase of the attack."  
"Just look for the most wreckage I guess. Who knows. We're going to make first contact with the Citadel after it's launched it's attack, the whole thing might be reduced to scrap metal."  
Garrus spoke earnestly, wringing his hands. Tali took note and felt her heart sink for her friend. She felt for Garrus. The poor guy watched his girlfriend run into a beacon that shot her from Earth to space and he was supposed to believe that she was alive?  
"We'll find her, Garrus."  
"Whether or not she's alive is a different matter."  
"Always the optimist." The quarian muttered under her breath, feeling her neck hot under her suit. Ancestors, she hated having a damn fever. It made everything feel uncomfortable and icky and everything else irritated her. Still, Garrus seemed...too okay with everything. Like he had come to accept things too quickly.  
"Garrus...do...you need to talk?"  
"No. I need to look." He was determined. She could see that. But she didn't want his determination to break down if nothing turned up. "Okay, Garrus. We'll find her."  
"Cruicible spotted, prepare for touchdown." Joker's voice interrupted Tali's train of thought. There was something after all. "Semi-intact," Joker finished, the quarian and turian exchanging glances again. It was better than nothing.

* * *

The blue shuttle landed on the Crucible on a clear strip of metal. The exterior was torn to bits, but it rooms were preserved. Keepers herded bits of metal here and there. Body parts littered the area in tidy heaps of organized parts. Krogan tails, turian mandibles, asari heads, human legs, simply piled up to miniature mountains. It was sickening. "Keelah...these things..."  
"Keep focused."  
Tali felt her breath hitch in her throat and for the first time, for her commander, she felt dread. It nearly overwhelmed her. She tried to keep her emotions in check but it was becoming exceedingly hard. She needed a friend. She needed her home-her people. She needed to know that the lives lost here weren't lost in vain.  
Her knees knocked together for a moment, only a moment, as she saw an N7 armor piece near a pile. "Garrus..." The turian looked to the side to see Tali pick up the armguard. "You don't think..."  
"No. Don't you think about it either."  
"Meet me at the bar. I'm buying."  
He didn't want to meet her at a bar. He didn't want to see her there.  
A knot grew in his throat as he pressed on; not even wanting to search through the piles of body parts to see if she was there. He wanted her. He wanted her in his arms. He wanted to feel the softness of her face that he never knew a human had. He wanted her lips and taste and smell. He wanted everything about her and yet, "why did she sacrifice herself?" He finished his thought aloud, surprising Tali. The turian felt hopeless. The sight of the keepers unshackled him. He was not an easy man to disturb, yet the bug-like alien had managed to do just that.  
"I doubt she thought she was coming out of this alive, Garrus." He let out a weak, forced chuckle. "You know, Tali, I spoke to her once about being a ruthless leader. Sacrifice two billion here so four can be saved there. Something about being a cold, calculating leader. She rejected that idea. But that was Shepard. She would never accept the lives of innocent to be sacrificed, even if it were to save more. She'd find a way."  
Tali kept silent and listened to his much needed venting session. It wasn't good for him, for anybody, to keep their emotions so locked up. Especially after a war. Besides, she wouldn't have been a very good friend if she didn't listen.  
"Hey, there's movement there." She hadn't realized that Garrus had gone stock still and silent and was watching something from below them. flooring had been made of glass, and he could swear that he saw something humanoid moving. Whether it could have been asari, quarian, turian, he didn't know. Lifting his gun to his eye, he focused on the figure and growled a bit. Still, he could only make out that it wasn't an asari-the blue would have been a dead giveaway. "She's moving like she's hurt, but who isn't..."  
"Well we can't leave them here. And they might have seen Shepard, too, so there's another reason." The young quarian's voice sparked truth. THey couldn't leave behind a fellow soldier, regardless if they've seen Shepard or not. The fact was, though, that his entire agenda was to find her. If this person didn't see her, then he wasn't going to end his mission there to escort them back. He came on the mission to find a body-her body-and he wasn't going to leave without it.

* * *

The descent was slow and painful. They had managed to reach a level where it seemed like the maintenance crew had been adding some final touch ups to the project. Random lunch boxes, paper bags, plastic bags, cardboard (now soaked in engine fuel and blood), and other humanistic oddities scattered about. Netting sloughed off debris and clung to yet more body parts, this time they were more indiscernible. The whole of the part could be traced to a specie, or as effectively as possible, but as to what it was exactly? He couldn't tell.  
Garrus looked up and saw that the glass platform that they had been standing on was indeed above them. "Is anybody here!?" Tali's voice rang in the empty halls. It was chilling. "We know there was someone here!"  
Silence followed the groans of metal moving in space, garnering a sigh from the two of them. "Nothing..."  
"They may have moved further on."  
Garrus kicked aside a metal thermos dejectedly. It was the only thing he wasnted. He didn't even want his own life, really. How could he deserve it if he couldn't protect the ones he loved? His father and sister? Were they safe back on Palavan? He heard them last...spirits, too long ago...  
"I'll scan for distress signals." Tali spoke up in an all-too-loud voice. She didn't want to hear a dispirited Garrus. After a few moments of pacing, a blip on her omni-tool resonated and she jumped. "A signal! Alliance signal!"  
The turian gave a surprised gasp and ran over to her, looming over her tool. "Who is it?"  
"Captain Anderson! He went with Shepard last! He'll know where she is!"  
"Can you raise him?" Tali switched to her comms unit and began speaking in a hurried voice, "this is Tali'Zorah, can you hear me?" The comm signal opened up on the other end, but no voice replied. Tali waited until it closed and then she tried again, Garrus trying to make out any noise. "Captain Anderson, this is Tali'Zorah vas Normandy, over!" A faint clicking noise was heard, but other than that, it was quiet. That's all he needed to hear. The next thing he knew, his feet pounded on the ground as he began his search. Arms swinging from side to side, he opened up a three-way comm between Tali, Anderson, and himself and kept listening for the clicking noise. It was faint...annoying...something he heard often. He just couldn't place the clicking sound.  
"Captain Anderson?"

_Click-click...click-click...click-click..._

He was close. Tali's voice had echoed somewhere down the next hall. A sharp turn later and he was standing at the end of a small emergency corridor. Rubble had piled from floor to ceiling. Beams and chunks of sheet metal had barred off the exit completely, making it impassible for anyone.

_Click-click...click-click...click-click..._

Garrus turned his focus down the hall, noticing a dragging trail of blood from the corridor to the end and splatter droplets sparsed out. "Anderson? Captain Anderson..." The turian stepped over the blood and steel, his heart in his mouth the entire time. He'd kicked a few more thermoses along the way and quickly noted water bottles in the vicinity. Probably how he kept alive. The level they were on had to be the last one that was being worked on. Most definitely.  
"Captain Anderson, my name is Garrus Vakarian. I'm with N7-Shepard..."  
There she was in all her glory. Commander Shepard of the Normandy. With her big black and blue eyes shut tight, blood caking one of them shut. A deep purple bruising had formed from the side of her temple and ran down the length of her face to her chin, which also sported a gash. Garrus's body carried itself to her side and slide on the floor to her level, quickly grasping onto her hand. "Mae! No, no, no...stay with me...Tali? Tali, it's Shepard!" He shouted over the open channel, his heart beating a million miles a minute as his eyes fell upon her bruised neck, the rest invisible under her clothing. What he knew was that there was a lot of blood. A lot of blood. Spirits...it was just...everywhere. He went to take hold of her hand and saw something equally gruesome in her clutches-Captain Anderson's arm. On it was his omni-tool, which she had left open. The tool used to communicate? A pen. A simple, stupid little office tool that Garrus had used too many times in his C-Sec days.  
"I'm so sorry..." His voice was soft as he stroked her cheek, earning a guttural groan as a reply. He could see the empty water bottles around her. If there was even one drop, she would have drunk it to survive. That's who she was. She wouldn't allow herself to die given the choice.  
"I'm on my way. I'll raise the Normandy." Tali's reply was delayed and strained. Garrus knew it. She'd been crying and had to try and recompose herself. "Let's get you out of here. Can you move? No, never mind, don't."  
It was too late. With brute force and a lot of grunting, she had managed to pull herself forwards onto her knees, Anderson's arm rolling off her lap. Guts. That's what it took to get up, as well as what threatened to fall out if she moved her hand. "Mae, don't-"  
"N-not..." A deep, painful inhale of breath followed the first word and she was forced into silence. Moving was less painful than talking. The best that she could do was give him a solid glare. "I know. You're not giving up. I know..." He repeated the words to not only reassure her, but himself as well. Reaching over, he shut off the distress signal on Anderson's omni-tool and closed the comm channel. Without further hesitation, he scooped up his commander in his arms, earning more grunts of pain, and began a steady march back to the shuttle. At least this way she could maintain a pressure on her stomach wound herself. "I'd let you walk, but I'd like to think of this as a wedding." He tried talking to her to keep her awake. Was she even able to pass out from the pain or was there that mental barrier stopping herself? It'd be merciful if she would, but it didn't seem like it'd be so. One look at her and he noted that she was listening, hanging onto, every scrap of word he was saying. "Yeah! You're married to your job, and now you found someone else. So we're eloping. Is that the human term?"  
A small snort eminated from her and he could only assume it was a positive answer. "Isn't it customary to carry the bride?"  
"Tech..." An snake's hiss of pain and he wished he didn't ask her a question to begin with, "...ni... Coughing. The coughing set his alarms ringing on high alert. Not just because it seemed to cause her what he could only imagine to be excruciating pain, but blood projectiled out of her mouth at the same time. His march turned into a light jog, as to try and not rustle her around too much, but even that seemed like it was doing more harm than good. "Don't speak, don't answer any stupid questions I have. Don't think that I want you to respond until we get you help. Dr Chakwas will look at you, alright? Don't even-Jimmy!" James had turned the corner with Kaidan, causing him to come to a dead stop. "Our shuttle is closer. Tali went to recover yours." Kaidan spoke, rubbing at his forehead. "Medi-gel, do you have any?" Garrus's question was a quickfire one. He needed her gut closed at the very least, or to subside the coughing.  
"No, I'm o-holy shit..." James approached the figure in Garrus's arms, eyes widening. "Lola...?" He breathed her nickname through trembling lips. They found her? After everything, they managed to bring her back?  
"She can't talk, she can't move, and her suit is the only thing stopping her intestines from falling out, we need to move." She looked...fragile...inside his arms. Like an innocent he had tried so hard to protect back on earth. Except she was a soldier. She was a vanguard...she didn't look anything like that. Her demeanor was that of...well...not a soldier, that's for one.  
Except that when her gaze shifted from a thousand feet in front of her to up at his face, he remembered his position. Saluting her, he stood aside and watched Garrus hasten his step behind Kaidan as they made their way to the shuttle.  
"Un-buh-lieveable..." The words trailed out of his mouth, his head shaking slightly as he followed in tow.  
There she was. Commander Shepard of the Alliance military ship, the Normandy. Beaten, bruised, broken, and barely living, she had managed to scrape by. He wasn't sure how, hell, he wasn't even sure why she would want to put herself through that torture of holding out for someone, anyone, with nothing but what she had around her.  
But, God...her eyes when she looked at him. They weren't done fighting. Not by a long shot.

* * *

**AN: I honestly received more 'favorited stories' reviews than I thought I would. Thank you to everyone who decided to join me on my story adventure. I hope you enjoy the ride. **


End file.
